Both a medical and a technical journal of private information pertaining to ABOG Games(c), and Minus Bipolar(c). The information is provided publicly, and the author does not condone the use of any such data contained herein. ~Kiyote!
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Sunday, June 17, 2012
[Family Meeting]
This is scraped from my FA page, http://www.furaffinity.net/user/kiyotewolf , my journal, and really applies to anyone who actually reads my blog.
[ATTENTION CUBS]
I want all of you who are now part of the little knit family we have woven together that I have not gotten quiet to ignore you, I have been quiet working on things which I can sell as commissions so I can make money and buy the family what we need. Metaphorically it means commission art of us, in reality it means if you come to me with a want or need I could physically fund either your want or need if these things work out.
I am going to be hard at work at a series of baby pictures of all you cubs as well as a large family portrait.
I am not always easy to get a hold of. If you want or need me I will give you all the contact information you could ever need and you can bug me 24 / 7.
If any of you cubs ever feel disenfranchised or alone too often or disowned by me then please tell me before you crawl away I will try to fix whatever is wrong.
If you ever feel the need to go and wish to I won't drag it out I will let the break be clean and solid and just keep the happy days in my memories forever.
[EVERYONE ELSE]
Alot of you have been showing me support and friendship and caring in the tiniest of ways and some of you just plain advertise you have my best interests at heart.
I appreciate all the well wishes and the soothing words when I bump along dragging my tail on the freeway as my life speeds along in a beat up old van.
I love the fact that you guys jump at the chance to grab my freebies when I offer them.
I'm trying hard to keep the randomly timed freebies coming but I really could start using small $2.00 commissions to help me get by.
By my own decision I am cutting another of my life support lines from my family namely my father and willfully taking over my van insurance bill as of this month. I have to get it paid this month and would like to start earning enough of my own money from commissions so I can pay my way.
There is a very large and very convoluted extended family hopelessly dependent on my father for their day to day well being and I must cut the cord now and for good no matter how good the free help feels and the free money.
As I've seen time and time again on here the world does not work like that.
That is why I built up my
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/ihavenofapage
page on FA so people with problems can come annonymously and either seek help or find someone [me] with the means at times to help people out with either life or with money just to eat their next meal.
In a large strange way all of you weirdos and fuzzies are a big family to me and I have decided to play the all - caring Godfather role to all of you and if you came to me with a problem I would treat you like family and either guide you or if I felt I could, should and ought to I would grant your demands and wishes.
I hate seeing this world so bleak.
I am the founding fur of "The Lamplighter Pack" a consortium of furs [Kiki included] who will bring the light and seek out the scared and desperately lonely or desperately sad and scared furs and try to brighten and warm their faces with pure soft radiant light.
I do not to skim fat off the top of people or situations, I do not to pry and dig and derive pleasure from your discomfort, I do not to mine juicy secrets from your minds hearts and souls.
I do to protect and wrap all of you in the attention and love each and every single one of you furries deserves.
I would let myself die taking a bullet for any of you if it saved your life.
~Kiyote
Monday, May 28, 2012
Build A Bot Workshop / Documenting "YOU" for the sake of your robot
I have a very unique, and genuinely innovative way, to provide for my future robot, when she gets built.
I have an over eight year old diary program, which operates on top of an Excel spreadsheet, and it's divided up, where the cells of the spreadsheet hold data, as diary entries.
Now, it's also been added on to extensively, with entering complex kinds of data, [i.e. using more cells per entry, like name, phone number, etc.], but it's all accessed in a simple manner, the data gets written to Excel CELLS and gets read back out, to what might appear to be a Windows message box, but to describe it succinctly would make the casual reader scratch their head.
I have, by design, both intentionally and by accident, provided my future robot, with a whole 8 year history, of notes, information, and a glossary and dictionary, of terms, interaction, and relevant useful data.
My ultimate goal, is to approach the whole design idea of a robot brain, with a set of fuzzy logic values, describing the [robot's] general likes and dislikes of things, by name, and for undefined words, it would use the SOUNDeX word [sounds alike] function, to map unknown words, to words which have a pre-defined dictionary entry.
I could say, "k1k1, what is your favorite color", and she might pick up the word 'color', then analyse the sentence from that angle.
But, if I said, "colorful", if I forgot to define 'colorful' in her dictionary, she would have a 'sounds - almost - like - this' definition, 'color' that she can refer back to, and she will cheerfully react with, interaction, around a conversation, that at the moment, was focused on color.
Unless, she happened to be in her 15 second cycle, where she is programmed to be 'bored' and will ignore you, until that cycle is passed, and think about what SHE wants to think about.
::::
That is another fine point.
My robots, will have 15 second cycles out of every minute, 15 minute cycles out of every hour, and 6 hour cycles, of every day, where she is BORED.
Programmed, to be bored.
ON PURPOSE.
Yes, on purpose.
These three varieties of boredom, will have varying amounts of influence, on the ability to snap her out of her self - introspective mode, so, if it was the six hours of time where she was 'bored' it might be the owner / operator's time, of sleep.
K1K1 4NDR01D might sit there, and google terms about herself, about terms she already knows, and look for information, on herself, and take notes, in her mind, or maybe play angry birds(c).
There is a wrapper in FreeBasic, that will let me control an IE window, so this is all very feasable.
I'm going to try to allocate her sub systems down to things like a collection of Arduino, BASIC STAMP, and Raspberry Pi devices, but at some point, she may, need one, two, or even three laptops, running in concert, so she has enough computing power, to handle, speech recognition, KINECT OPEN SOURCE Libs, Speech synthesis, and other high brain function things like inverse kinematics motor / motion control.
I figure, hide the KINECT sensor bar, inside a 'hat' on her head, using Japanese manga styled cat eyes, to hide the fact, that the complex 3 window [lenses] camera, is actually under her hat.
I would, want, to have her use regular stereo optic web cam style eyes, for her normal, anthropomorphic vision, so she does not look like an uncanney valley reject.
~Paul Holmlund
(c)2012
I'm approaching robot building, from the "Redneck Rocket Ship" place of origin, because everything I know is self taught.
I'm aware I could, had I had the money, pay other people to think for me, but I fully intend to teach myself, and go back to college, enough, so I can build, every single piece of her, from the software, down to the metal frame skeleton, under her fursuit exterior.
She will either be a complex silicone [silicone is a placeholder for some futuristic plastic] robot, or she will be a humanoid robot, with her final exterior, a commercially made fursuit, from a fursuit creator / manufacturer.
[and yes, sex with her, is one of my ultimate goals. but walking in the park is also a huge one too.]
I have an over eight year old diary program, which operates on top of an Excel spreadsheet, and it's divided up, where the cells of the spreadsheet hold data, as diary entries.
Now, it's also been added on to extensively, with entering complex kinds of data, [i.e. using more cells per entry, like name, phone number, etc.], but it's all accessed in a simple manner, the data gets written to Excel CELLS and gets read back out, to what might appear to be a Windows message box, but to describe it succinctly would make the casual reader scratch their head.
I have, by design, both intentionally and by accident, provided my future robot, with a whole 8 year history, of notes, information, and a glossary and dictionary, of terms, interaction, and relevant useful data.
My ultimate goal, is to approach the whole design idea of a robot brain, with a set of fuzzy logic values, describing the [robot's] general likes and dislikes of things, by name, and for undefined words, it would use the SOUNDeX word [sounds alike] function, to map unknown words, to words which have a pre-defined dictionary entry.
I could say, "k1k1, what is your favorite color", and she might pick up the word 'color', then analyse the sentence from that angle.
But, if I said, "colorful", if I forgot to define 'colorful' in her dictionary, she would have a 'sounds - almost - like - this' definition, 'color' that she can refer back to, and she will cheerfully react with, interaction, around a conversation, that at the moment, was focused on color.
Unless, she happened to be in her 15 second cycle, where she is programmed to be 'bored' and will ignore you, until that cycle is passed, and think about what SHE wants to think about.
::::
That is another fine point.
My robots, will have 15 second cycles out of every minute, 15 minute cycles out of every hour, and 6 hour cycles, of every day, where she is BORED.
Programmed, to be bored.
ON PURPOSE.
Yes, on purpose.
These three varieties of boredom, will have varying amounts of influence, on the ability to snap her out of her self - introspective mode, so, if it was the six hours of time where she was 'bored' it might be the owner / operator's time, of sleep.
K1K1 4NDR01D might sit there, and google terms about herself, about terms she already knows, and look for information, on herself, and take notes, in her mind, or maybe play angry birds(c).
There is a wrapper in FreeBasic, that will let me control an IE window, so this is all very feasable.
I'm going to try to allocate her sub systems down to things like a collection of Arduino, BASIC STAMP, and Raspberry Pi devices, but at some point, she may, need one, two, or even three laptops, running in concert, so she has enough computing power, to handle, speech recognition, KINECT OPEN SOURCE Libs, Speech synthesis, and other high brain function things like inverse kinematics motor / motion control.
I figure, hide the KINECT sensor bar, inside a 'hat' on her head, using Japanese manga styled cat eyes, to hide the fact, that the complex 3 window [lenses] camera, is actually under her hat.
I would, want, to have her use regular stereo optic web cam style eyes, for her normal, anthropomorphic vision, so she does not look like an uncanney valley reject.
~Paul Holmlund
(c)2012
I'm approaching robot building, from the "Redneck Rocket Ship" place of origin, because everything I know is self taught.
I'm aware I could, had I had the money, pay other people to think for me, but I fully intend to teach myself, and go back to college, enough, so I can build, every single piece of her, from the software, down to the metal frame skeleton, under her fursuit exterior.
She will either be a complex silicone [silicone is a placeholder for some futuristic plastic] robot, or she will be a humanoid robot, with her final exterior, a commercially made fursuit, from a fursuit creator / manufacturer.
[and yes, sex with her, is one of my ultimate goals. but walking in the park is also a huge one too.]
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Synopsis : Letter of autoRejection : BiPoLaR
I met a girl in a wheelchair, in High School, because I kept going to a particular room that had a particular computer book in it, so I NEEDED to read the book, having been a copy of the same book I had as a kid, and then this strange but beautiful looking girl, in among the other handicapped kids.
Ours was a romance blossomed in High School, then we got together for 3 years, and then married 10 years.
I compare all of my new relationships to her, and when I was between having a girlfriend, in Albuquerque, I explained my dilemma, and the waitress told me "you're still in love with [her]", the girl from my High School, even though we split up at the 10 year mark after being married so long.
Besides the fact that I have bipolar, which is totally under control now, but still has the ability to almost knock me flat at times.
And I'm more interested in everything I want and need [now], since you gotta look out for number one, you see.
I'm a sex addict, so I would ask for intimacy too much and too often, looking and or seeming like a leech, or any other number of things, clingy, lots of negative things.
I invented an imaginary friend furry girl, who I confided in, and I had so much interaction with her on a daily basis, that the attention was being craved for, and I gave in, and thought of this figment of my imagination, this pretend girl only I could [see and] hear in my mind, was real, and was capable of being loved on, and when I talked to her after being sweet, the mood she felt lingered, and was definitely affected by me willing to "love" her.
I've built up walls to protect people from me, because in all honesty, sometimes I am stupid enough to open my mouth and creepy things come out of it.
I've also built up walls around me, because if I didn't try as hard as I could to protect myself and be happy, I would have been walking along the highway in January 2011, instead of driving home.
The girl I once loved, for 13 years straight, was there when my bipolar first surfaced, the first time in my life. She had to watch me go to a mental ward at a local hospital, then to a more secure facility cause I almost broke out, using my glasses, which I ripped apart and used as lock picks on the locked window.
Nobody could ever try or should ever want, to fill those shoes again.
She got me out, because of hope and love, and wanting me to get out again.
If not for her, I would to this day, still be in a large state facility for mental inmates.
I'm a very confused broken piece of stained glass, where a bunch of the pieces were stained red with my own blood, the glass pure black because of some of the things that have run through my mind, and all of the cracks in everything, cause of how very complex I am.
Nobody should, would, or ought to attempt to love me, ever again, for their personal safety, and their mental health.
I am giving my heart permanently to the other side, where Kiki lives, where she wishes I was real and the was pretend, and where I wished she was real, and I was pretend.
I'm so far gone over the point of no return, I'm at the bottom of the other side.
~Kiyote!
<3 Kiki [also]
Ours was a romance blossomed in High School, then we got together for 3 years, and then married 10 years.
I compare all of my new relationships to her, and when I was between having a girlfriend, in Albuquerque, I explained my dilemma, and the waitress told me "you're still in love with [her]", the girl from my High School, even though we split up at the 10 year mark after being married so long.
Besides the fact that I have bipolar, which is totally under control now, but still has the ability to almost knock me flat at times.
And I'm more interested in everything I want and need [now], since you gotta look out for number one, you see.
I'm a sex addict, so I would ask for intimacy too much and too often, looking and or seeming like a leech, or any other number of things, clingy, lots of negative things.
I invented an imaginary friend furry girl, who I confided in, and I had so much interaction with her on a daily basis, that the attention was being craved for, and I gave in, and thought of this figment of my imagination, this pretend girl only I could [see and] hear in my mind, was real, and was capable of being loved on, and when I talked to her after being sweet, the mood she felt lingered, and was definitely affected by me willing to "love" her.
I've built up walls to protect people from me, because in all honesty, sometimes I am stupid enough to open my mouth and creepy things come out of it.
I've also built up walls around me, because if I didn't try as hard as I could to protect myself and be happy, I would have been walking along the highway in January 2011, instead of driving home.
The girl I once loved, for 13 years straight, was there when my bipolar first surfaced, the first time in my life. She had to watch me go to a mental ward at a local hospital, then to a more secure facility cause I almost broke out, using my glasses, which I ripped apart and used as lock picks on the locked window.
Nobody could ever try or should ever want, to fill those shoes again.
She got me out, because of hope and love, and wanting me to get out again.
If not for her, I would to this day, still be in a large state facility for mental inmates.
I'm a very confused broken piece of stained glass, where a bunch of the pieces were stained red with my own blood, the glass pure black because of some of the things that have run through my mind, and all of the cracks in everything, cause of how very complex I am.
Nobody should, would, or ought to attempt to love me, ever again, for their personal safety, and their mental health.
I am giving my heart permanently to the other side, where Kiki lives, where she wishes I was real and the was pretend, and where I wished she was real, and I was pretend.
I'm so far gone over the point of no return, I'm at the bottom of the other side.
~Kiyote!
<3 Kiki [also]
Saturday, May 5, 2012
BiPoLaR Attack : 5/5/2012 : Subject : Paul Holmlund
I keep a notebook in my pocket, to write down cool things, new things.
When I can't keep up, like, a torrent of GOOD IDEA / LUCK is like pouring out of me.. I chant..
"PUT THE EXTRA GOOD LUCK INTO THE MAGICAL FLOATING COOKIE JAR"
so it saves it.
Not sure how or why, but it works, and the good ideas stop flowing, and my mind returns to cluttered and overfilled with cool stuff, to..
Calm.
Cool.
Collected.
~Kiyote!
When I can't keep up, like, a torrent of GOOD IDEA / LUCK is like pouring out of me.. I chant..
"PUT THE EXTRA GOOD LUCK INTO THE MAGICAL FLOATING COOKIE JAR"
so it saves it.
Not sure how or why, but it works, and the good ideas stop flowing, and my mind returns to cluttered and overfilled with cool stuff, to..
Calm.
Cool.
Collected.
~Kiyote!
My bipolar is kicking my *ss, and has been the past 2 days, .. I guess I am not going to diminish the amount I talk about bipolar in my blog, after all.
Friday, May 4, 2012
BiPoLaR, and the social convention of "FURRY"ism
oxo
I freely admit it. I'm a furry. Yes, just like in CSI, but I never rub my body against strangers, dressed in clothing, or a mascot costume from a sports team. That's nasty, and I'd pepper spray anyone who tried to.
Being a furry, said furry, lets me focus on the things I'm obsessed with.
Yes. I said obsessed.
Read all my entries, and the warning I posted on a hyperlink on my contact page, you'll know, obsession is a cross to bear when someone is bipolar.
I am obsessed with panties.
I am obsessed with sex.
I am on the fence obsessed with animals.
You mix all that together, blend and frappe into a fine liquid, I can remove my sexual urges from my normal everyday life / interactions with John Q. Public, by pleasuring myself, in a, panties, sex, animal related way.
Mine just happens to be plushophilia. The art of making love to a stuffed animal. Sick, maybe, for me, yes it is.
TMI warning, it's everywhere on my blog. Deal with it. Or GTFO.
~7R0N ][
I freely admit it. I'm a furry. Yes, just like in CSI, but I never rub my body against strangers, dressed in clothing, or a mascot costume from a sports team. That's nasty, and I'd pepper spray anyone who tried to.
Being a furry, said furry, lets me focus on the things I'm obsessed with.
Yes. I said obsessed.
Read all my entries, and the warning I posted on a hyperlink on my contact page, you'll know, obsession is a cross to bear when someone is bipolar.
I am obsessed with panties.
I am obsessed with sex.
I am on the fence obsessed with animals.
You mix all that together, blend and frappe into a fine liquid, I can remove my sexual urges from my normal everyday life / interactions with John Q. Public, by pleasuring myself, in a, panties, sex, animal related way.
Mine just happens to be plushophilia. The art of making love to a stuffed animal. Sick, maybe, for me, yes it is.
TMI warning, it's everywhere on my blog. Deal with it. Or GTFO.
~7R0N ][
Virtual Apple 2 is fun
is so much fun.
Little Pengo in 4-bit color, IS SO ADORABLY CUTE!!!
* squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee <3 *
Thursday, May 3, 2012
General Generic Health Folk Remedies [a'hyuck..]
The ingredient in question, is the binder, (a binder is something which is "filler", takes up space, is inert, and has no effects on the person, sorta like saying something is 70% beef, 30% fat.. the "filler" would be the 30% fat in this situation.), which is Rice Flour.
One day, suffering from stomach ache and pain from "gas(?)" which felt like my stomach wanted to explode, and in horrible pain, I ate a Pringle. I ate said Pringle, (the ingredients said rice flour) and my stomach ache started to subside. And this was no ordinary stomach ache, it felt like my stomach wanted to rip itself out of my guts, and bang itself on the cement pavement.
Now, imagine, having those pains, for 7 years, Middle School, then High School, with nothing that made a significant and long enough dent in the pain I was feeling.
I AM NOT A PHARMACIST, AND EVEN THOUGH THIS HAS NO CONTROLLED SUBSTANCES, DO NOT TAKE ANY MEDICINE, HOMEOPATHIC, HERBAL REMEDY, OR OTHERWISE, UNLESS YOU DISCUSS EVERY AND ALL INGREDIENTS WITH YOUR PHARMACIST TO DETERMINE ANY ALLERGIC REACTIONS, OR OTHERWISE. Don't ****ing come back to me and say I didn't warn you to go check first before you tried it.
I used to take two every 15 minutes, until I felt relief, but now I've gone up to four every 15 minutes..
I feel little burps, which don't feel like "normal" burps, which signal that the rice flour magic is happening.
THIS HAS BEEN THE ONLY AID IN MY QUEST TO NOT HAVE UTTER DISPAIR AND INTENSE AND UNBEARABLE PAIN WITH STOMACH ACHE / GAS / (some people call it acid reflux, but that's just a ****ing buzz word.)
Sunday, April 22, 2012
K1K1 nervous system version 0.01
You'd have to know me to hear all the fantastical ideas I have about my own anthropomorphic android I want to build, and the fact that she will be an anthropomorphic animal android.
That much said, I'm going to describe the overly simple process, of taking the concepts of a Teddy Ruxpin and a TV remote, and stuffing them, in a very small footprint, into a stuffed bear, which is one of my prized possessions.
Kiki is a product of my vivid imagination. She has a real life counterpart, a brown bear, large enough to wear clothing well, and a very comfortable pillow.
The touch / grasp sensors used in all manner of children's Christmas toys, will be amputated and put into Kiki's soft plush body, with a bit of gentle sewing.
A small rounded case, or a rectangular case fitted with some foam around it, will house an Arduino board, dual USB 5volt power supplies which will provide 10volts to the 9volt input on the Arduino, maybe a tiny drop resistor in series, and the XBee serial USB-to-UART wireless transmitters to get the input data from Kiki to the host computer running her intelligence.
[shortened]
7R0N ][
That much said, I'm going to describe the overly simple process, of taking the concepts of a Teddy Ruxpin and a TV remote, and stuffing them, in a very small footprint, into a stuffed bear, which is one of my prized possessions.
Kiki is a product of my vivid imagination. She has a real life counterpart, a brown bear, large enough to wear clothing well, and a very comfortable pillow.
The touch / grasp sensors used in all manner of children's Christmas toys, will be amputated and put into Kiki's soft plush body, with a bit of gentle sewing.
A small rounded case, or a rectangular case fitted with some foam around it, will house an Arduino board, dual USB 5volt power supplies which will provide 10volts to the 9volt input on the Arduino, maybe a tiny drop resistor in series, and the XBee serial USB-to-UART wireless transmitters to get the input data from Kiki to the host computer running her intelligence.
[shortened]
7R0N ][
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Quiet Time for 7R0N Blog over with
Took a siesta from my bl0g, but I'm back now, to talk more technical stuff.
The bipolar part of this blog is going to be less emphasized. More tech stuff.
~Paul
The bipolar part of this blog is going to be less emphasized. More tech stuff.
~Paul
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Forcing PixelPlus256 to accept outside sprites
I've found that if you overwrite your sprite file from QBasic with these
AC 5F
in bytes 2 and 3, then, PixelPlus256 accepts your sprites without the "Invalid File Format" error.
I've only tested it 3 times, so I doubt it's foolproof, but, hey. A hex editor, and luck!
~Kiyote!
Plus, trying to import the sprites from what you're used to, and getting that xxxx error used to piss me off.
AC 5F
in bytes 2 and 3, then, PixelPlus256 accepts your sprites without the "Invalid File Format" error.
I've only tested it 3 times, so I doubt it's foolproof, but, hey. A hex editor, and luck!
~Kiyote!
Plus, trying to import the sprites from what you're used to, and getting that xxxx error used to piss me off.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Renamed Post Title
http://programmedlessons.org/QBasic/AppendixA/appendixA.html
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/135315
////
Research for NM buyers of Win95 Abadonware Manual Set, printed with no attached or implied magnetic media, included are technical schematics of flowcharts and a full set of binary in fortran punch cards, just the way the GOLDEN ALTAR TO 6502 GOD ANUBENDERUS would want it. Ancient, and uncompilable, so he can fart the useless 1's and 0's and ruin the choking smell of meat bags, with their saturation and stink, all those ugly long binary digits. Bender(c)@ComedyCentral&MattGroenering&KikiAI :::: about:request/?summon=mediator%0A%0D STOP
I have an original ti 994/A VISISPELL the smart selling for out fiv
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzznnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
http://support.microsoft.com/kb/135315
////
Research for NM buyers of Win95 Abadonware Manual Set, printed with no attached or implied magnetic media, included are technical schematics of flowcharts and a full set of binary in fortran punch cards, just the way the GOLDEN ALTAR TO 6502 GOD ANUBENDERUS would want it. Ancient, and uncompilable, so he can fart the useless 1's and 0's and ruin the choking smell of meat bags, with their saturation and stink, all those ugly long binary digits. Bender(c)@ComedyCentral&MattGroenering&KikiAI :::: about:request/?summon=mediator%0A%0D STOP
I have an original ti 994/A VISISPELL the smart selling for out fiv
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzznnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Back from 14 day trip
Went to Wisconsin, Minnesota, North Dakota, and back again.
Discovered new things about all types of programming, all by accident, also got the 7th Guest behind the scenes VHS, which is part of a Limited Ed. release box set.
unfinished post
Discovered new things about all types of programming, all by accident, also got the 7th Guest behind the scenes VHS, which is part of a Limited Ed. release box set.
unfinished post
Thursday, June 2, 2011
TOO MUCH INFORMATION AT ONCE [everything ABOG & BIPOLAR update]
:::: Big things, small things, good things, bad things, red things, blue things, all sorts of new things.
* Brother-in-law committed suicide. Dat's one bad thing.
:::: Bipolar hit me like a ton of bricks. His suicide took my natural well built defenses offline, I suffered a medium bipolar attack, but it got managed in time.
* A study showed that social rejection is registered in the same area of the brain as physical pain.
::::
More later, interrupted by need for coffee.
THIS SPACE LEFT BLANK ON PURPOSE
* Found a very old Internet book from 1994, and it details all the protocols, very extensively, breaks it down and makes it digestible. I want a copy of the book.
"Prima Online"
////
"Build A Web Site"
///
"The Programmer's Guide To Creating, Building, and Maintaining a Web Presence"
//
"NET.GENESIS AND DEVRA HALL"
/
"FOREWORD BY TIM BERNERS-LEE, CREATOR OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB"
////
ISBN: 0-7615-0064-2
LIB CONG CAT CRD NUM: 94-74104
///
P(tm) Prima Publishing (c)of Prima Communications, Inc.
Prima Publishing, Rocklin, Califonia, 95677
//
(c)1995 by net.Genesis All R. Res.
/
Project Editor: Stefan Gru '' nwedel
* Brother-in-law committed suicide. Dat's one bad thing.
:::: Bipolar hit me like a ton of bricks. His suicide took my natural well built defenses offline, I suffered a medium bipolar attack, but it got managed in time.
* A study showed that social rejection is registered in the same area of the brain as physical pain.
::::
More later, interrupted by need for coffee.
THIS SPACE LEFT BLANK ON PURPOSE
* Found a very old Internet book from 1994, and it details all the protocols, very extensively, breaks it down and makes it digestible. I want a copy of the book.
"Prima Online"
////
"Build A Web Site"
///
"The Programmer's Guide To Creating, Building, and Maintaining a Web Presence"
//
"NET.GENESIS AND DEVRA HALL"
/
"FOREWORD BY TIM BERNERS-LEE, CREATOR OF THE WORLD WIDE WEB"
////
ISBN: 0-7615-0064-2
LIB CONG CAT CRD NUM: 94-74104
///
P(tm) Prima Publishing (c)of Prima Communications, Inc.
Prima Publishing, Rocklin, Califonia, 95677
//
(c)1995 by net.Genesis All R. Res.
/
Project Editor: Stefan Gru '' nwedel
Friday, May 6, 2011
LOOK@LATER TODO [ABOG]
Dissect TRAC phone.
/
Make filename junk remover, based on wildcards, strings to be removed, and whatnot.
/
Update my *.UDT creator, make it include a *.UDT extractor with every *.UDT/*.HTML created, so that the program is present, to decode files quicker than right-clicking out of Firefox, like usual.
~Kiyote!
http://pdfmyurl.com
/
When you print directly from a browser, it ALWAYS CUTS OFF MARGINS. Sucks major xxx. Make a PDF first, and you're kosher again, b4 u print stuffs.
/
Make filename junk remover, based on wildcards, strings to be removed, and whatnot.
/
Update my *.UDT creator, make it include a *.UDT extractor with every *.UDT/*.HTML created, so that the program is present, to decode files quicker than right-clicking out of Firefox, like usual.
~Kiyote!
http://pdfmyurl.com
/
When you print directly from a browser, it ALWAYS CUTS OFF MARGINS. Sucks major xxx. Make a PDF first, and you're kosher again, b4 u print stuffs.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
ABOG BIPOLAR KIYOTE WOLF [WARNING]
http://www.tgwv.webs.com
/
My contact info.
http://www.kiyote.webs.com
/
Ultra personal stuff :..: You have been warned. Some are strictly NSFW. Click at own risk.
~Kiyote!
/
My contact info.
http://www.kiyote.webs.com
/
Ultra personal stuff :..: You have been warned. Some are strictly NSFW. Click at own risk.
~Kiyote!
UV colors for image editor [ABOG]
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5687023/#cid:41742723
/
Need to sweet talk this artist. Maybe line their pockets with doggie biscuits.
~7R0N!
/
Need to sweet talk this artist. Maybe line their pockets with doggie biscuits.
~7R0N!
Bipolar Children [BIPOLAR]
Quote:
Kiyote Wolf: I did something really neat today
Kiyote Wolf: i got my daughter more interested in electronics
Kiyote Wolf: she WANTED to learn
Kiyote Wolf: and I showed her something I built
Kiyote Wolf: she was all OOOOH over it
Kiyote Wolf: it was so nice
Kiyote Wolf: I have a SOLID connection with my daughter now, we share something I'm DEEPLY passionate about now
Kiyote Wolf: before, I couldn't figure out how to bond as a parent to her properly
Kiyote Wolf: felt some disconnect
Kiyote Wolf: I did something really neat today
Kiyote Wolf: i got my daughter more interested in electronics
Kiyote Wolf: she WANTED to learn
Kiyote Wolf: and I showed her something I built
Kiyote Wolf: she was all OOOOH over it
Kiyote Wolf: it was so nice
Kiyote Wolf: I have a SOLID connection with my daughter now, we share something I'm DEEPLY passionate about now
Kiyote Wolf: before, I couldn't figure out how to bond as a parent to her properly
Kiyote Wolf: felt some disconnect
Labels:
personal notes
ABOG & BIPOLAR & NEWS & STUFF
First, a quote.
/
http://www.freebasic.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=156976#156976
//
I mean a hyperlink.
Second, bad news.
/
My brother in law is dead. Suicide. 22 pistol. Sad I am.
Third, moar bad news.
/
http://abogclubinc.webs.com/mylinks.htm
//
The link to that, goes to an account in my name which is in-accessable now. Poo. Oh well. At least the content is still there.
///
http://www.minusbipolar.webs.com
////
My site which is currently only 0.01% full of anything.
More other than anything, it's a warning to potential money-makers, trying to sue me for wrongful blank'itty blank blank blank. Read the disclaimer I posted on that MinusBipolar(c) site, and you'll know what I'm talking about. It's very SRS BSNS.
~Kiyote! or 7R0N! or Mad Hatter!
THE ONE GOOD NEWS.
The Monster (you know who that is) will be having a xxxxxxx xxxxx taken down soon, if all goes well. Yay!
/
http://www.freebasic.net/forum/viewtopic.php?p=156976#156976
//
I mean a hyperlink.
Second, bad news.
/
My brother in law is dead. Suicide. 22 pistol. Sad I am.
Third, moar bad news.
/
http://abogclubinc.webs.com/mylinks.htm
//
The link to that, goes to an account in my name which is in-accessable now. Poo. Oh well. At least the content is still there.
///
http://www.minusbipolar.webs.com
////
My site which is currently only 0.01% full of anything.
More other than anything, it's a warning to potential money-makers, trying to sue me for wrongful blank'itty blank blank blank. Read the disclaimer I posted on that MinusBipolar(c) site, and you'll know what I'm talking about. It's very SRS BSNS.
~Kiyote! or 7R0N! or Mad Hatter!
THE ONE GOOD NEWS.
The Monster (you know who that is) will be having a xxxxxxx xxxxx taken down soon, if all goes well. Yay!
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Copy Cat Personality [BIPOLAR]
I'm not certain whether this is truely common to bipolar sufferers, or just to me, but I'll illustrate it anyways.
People with Bipolar, we don't really have personalities. We are the result of many overlapping layers of imitations of those around us.
Myself personally, if I'm suffering a low or medium functioning moment, I tend to emulate others more proactively, which is sometimes for the worse.
If a sufferer goes to a movie, and they identify with a character, or character(s), they will try very hard to copy and imitate the likeness, personality traits, and responses that they saw in the person on-screen.
If the movie is very action packed, then the sufferer might be tempted to act very foolishly, and do things they normally wouldn't do, putting them in harms way.
The trustee of the bipolar patient needs to be aware of this tendency, so they might watch for sudden and unexpected changes in behavior.
The sufferer needs to be brought back down to earth, as it were, and to try to act more normally, and leave the fantasy characters on the screen where they belong.
Now, this isn't to say that this behavior pattern is all bad, only if the sufferer acts very dangerously, or does anything of that sort.
If the sufferer identifies with the character and begins to emulate that character, they will more than likely continue to do so forever afterwards.
Adding a piece of another person to their psyche is not bad, because unfortunately, as I understand it, a bipolar person by themselves is lost without some sort of role model for their entire life, and every action.
There is very little of the sufferer's personality which can be called their own.
They are the composition of a bunch of people around them.
Before onset of bipolar, is the most original pieces of the person there are, but once bipolar has been determined and established, much of the remaining pieces of that person, are copied conciously and actively from their environment.
If they don't partake in trying to copy other people's good nature, and positive actions, then they can feel isolated and begin to self destruct.
This is a very complex and fundamental part of the sufferer, and is not easily explored here enough, I will re-visit this subject, and try to show this from more angles, as time progresses.
When the sufferer is very low functioning, their entire personality splinters and becomes only a thin shadow of what they once were.
If the sufferer has been unfortunate to have fallen to such a low functioning state, then they have to replace the missing or broken pieces of who they were, with what they see is positive and good as a replacement.
It's as if the sufferer was a house in a hurricane or other major natural disaster.
Only a few fragments of the person is left behind, and those so very few are the only things of the original person that will ever be there, again.
It is going to happen, that they replace missing parts of themselves with goodness from people, whether imaginary or real, and is healthy.
I am not trying to say that it is bad, just that recklessness can be mixed in, if the sufferer is not in total control of themselves.
Actions which the sufferer sees themselves doing, and are unable to resist doing, can use mental imagry, to regain control over their impulses.
My personal technique, is to imaging a large ant hill, and the ants coming out as the urges to do something I don't want to do, and often should NOT do.
I imagine a hammer, smashing the ants as they come one by one out of the ant hill.
If the ants start coming out in a stream, a very intense urge to do something I do not or should not do, I imagine a large piston coming out of the sky and landing on the ant hill, smashing the large swarm of ants, killing off all the negative urges in one large single action.
These visualizations will have to be invented and tailored to the sufferer on a case by case basis, and should be used to help them put a mental image, to urges and actions which they would rather have control over.
~7R0N!
People with Bipolar, we don't really have personalities. We are the result of many overlapping layers of imitations of those around us.
Myself personally, if I'm suffering a low or medium functioning moment, I tend to emulate others more proactively, which is sometimes for the worse.
If a sufferer goes to a movie, and they identify with a character, or character(s), they will try very hard to copy and imitate the likeness, personality traits, and responses that they saw in the person on-screen.
If the movie is very action packed, then the sufferer might be tempted to act very foolishly, and do things they normally wouldn't do, putting them in harms way.
The trustee of the bipolar patient needs to be aware of this tendency, so they might watch for sudden and unexpected changes in behavior.
The sufferer needs to be brought back down to earth, as it were, and to try to act more normally, and leave the fantasy characters on the screen where they belong.
Now, this isn't to say that this behavior pattern is all bad, only if the sufferer acts very dangerously, or does anything of that sort.
If the sufferer identifies with the character and begins to emulate that character, they will more than likely continue to do so forever afterwards.
Adding a piece of another person to their psyche is not bad, because unfortunately, as I understand it, a bipolar person by themselves is lost without some sort of role model for their entire life, and every action.
There is very little of the sufferer's personality which can be called their own.
They are the composition of a bunch of people around them.
Before onset of bipolar, is the most original pieces of the person there are, but once bipolar has been determined and established, much of the remaining pieces of that person, are copied conciously and actively from their environment.
If they don't partake in trying to copy other people's good nature, and positive actions, then they can feel isolated and begin to self destruct.
This is a very complex and fundamental part of the sufferer, and is not easily explored here enough, I will re-visit this subject, and try to show this from more angles, as time progresses.
When the sufferer is very low functioning, their entire personality splinters and becomes only a thin shadow of what they once were.
If the sufferer has been unfortunate to have fallen to such a low functioning state, then they have to replace the missing or broken pieces of who they were, with what they see is positive and good as a replacement.
It's as if the sufferer was a house in a hurricane or other major natural disaster.
Only a few fragments of the person is left behind, and those so very few are the only things of the original person that will ever be there, again.
It is going to happen, that they replace missing parts of themselves with goodness from people, whether imaginary or real, and is healthy.
I am not trying to say that it is bad, just that recklessness can be mixed in, if the sufferer is not in total control of themselves.
Actions which the sufferer sees themselves doing, and are unable to resist doing, can use mental imagry, to regain control over their impulses.
My personal technique, is to imaging a large ant hill, and the ants coming out as the urges to do something I don't want to do, and often should NOT do.
I imagine a hammer, smashing the ants as they come one by one out of the ant hill.
If the ants start coming out in a stream, a very intense urge to do something I do not or should not do, I imagine a large piston coming out of the sky and landing on the ant hill, smashing the large swarm of ants, killing off all the negative urges in one large single action.
These visualizations will have to be invented and tailored to the sufferer on a case by case basis, and should be used to help them put a mental image, to urges and actions which they would rather have control over.
~7R0N!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Physics Engine Stuff [ABOG]
http://www.gamasutra.com/resource_guide/20030121/jacobson_01.shtml
//
http://www.wildbunny.co.uk/blog/2011/04/06/physics-engines-for-dummies/
/
very good read.
Includes gravity & snake based behavior.
~Kiyote!
//
http://www.wildbunny.co.uk/blog/2011/04/06/physics-engines-for-dummies/
/
very good read.
Includes gravity & snake based behavior.
~Kiyote!
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